Instead of...

I was chatting on the playground with Sullivan's babysitter today. She is really sweet (an actor, of course) and the boy really likes her. This brings me great comfort as I head into this new phase of working life in which I will need to trust the two of them together and let a lot of things go.

She looked out to the children on the playground rather wistfully and she said, "You know, I look at these kids playing and their so beautiful and it is such a beautiful day and I can help but think how I'd love to be doing this every day. Then I remember that if I did do this every day it would be 'instead of' as opposed to 'along with' what I really want to do."

I just wanted to hug her. When I got pregnant I was still laboring under the ridiculous assumption that I could "have it all" if I wanted it bad enough. Of course, what no one told me is that in order to have it all you have to redefine what exactly "it" is. "It" looks a lot different once you are this far down the road.

To quote Homer Simpson, "...it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother it ain't ketchup!"

You're darn tootin' it ain't.