The Impact of Senseless Conversations

Here's a rather odd admission, but when my brain can't think of anything else to think about one simple phrase will enter my head. This phrase is completely involuntary and I have a sneaking suspicion that a certain ex-roomate of mine programmed it into my head while I slept. I can just imagine her tiptoeing out of her room in the middle of the night, giggling to herself as she prepares to whisper into my sleeping ear, "Sex with Chickens".

I guess it all stems from one of those senseless, late night, roommate discussions that roomies tend to have where we had been talking about how you can buy fertilized eggs at Chinese groceries. I had once had another roommate who used to refer to her morning scrambled eggs as "chicken abortions, yum" and, well, these are the things that stick in your mind. Well, the fertilized eggs conversation lead to practical questions about chicken sex and egg fertilization. Some frogs fertilize eggs outside the mother's body. So...

Of course, I had chickens as a kid, but I didn't pay that much attention to the sexual habits of our little barnyard weirdos because it just wasn't on my radar. I remember being embarassed that I didn't really know anything about chicken husbandry and this lead to a misguided telephone call to The Raptor Center at the University of Minnesota. Yes, I know chickens are not raptors, but we didn't have any farmers to call at the time (having alienated them all) and I'm fairly certain there was a case of Pig's Eye Beer involved in this little incident, so we called someplace that knew something about birds in general. Needless to say, they did not take our call very seriously. I can't say that I blame them.

At any rate, due to these discussions and perhaps some other, darker chicken incidents buried in my subconscious, I can't help but occasionally twist the phrase "sex with chickens" around in my empty brain. If I am relaxed and in the appropriate, accepting company I will blurt this out during moments of silence. My close friends never bat an eyelid because they know the chicken moment will soon pass and eventually I will be able to move on to another topic. Rarely does anyone engage me in conversation of chicken sex because this brings up too many frightening images of Gonzo from the Muppets and few people are really willing to confront those kinds of thoughts. Some things are better left unsaid, I suppose.

Chicken Lady loves life! Bwak!