Crushing Souls
The longer I am out and about in this world populated by children, the more I am appauled by the way adults speak to them. I am also appauled by adult expectations.
Now, don't run off and tell the world that I am some namby pamby new ager who wants every child to feel good and never corrected or put in competitive situations. It is important that all humans, regardless of age, are allowed to feel pain, anger and sadness. I'd argue that it is absolutely necessary. I just don't think we should go out with the express purpose of inflicting it on them! They'll take care of that one themselves, they don't need our help. I also thing discipline is of the utmost importance. Kids (and adults, for that matter) should feel the natural consequences of their actions. Teenage girls who collect and throw their own excrement on other teenage girls should have a priveledge or two taken away from them! And I don't think avoiding competition will prepare kids for the real world. Teaching them how to conduct themselves in competition would be better.
In particular, there was an incident at the school where I volunteer last week. I was teaching the kids how to create characters and recognize character traits in literature. The kids were going crazy making character profile after character profile and it was way fun. Toward the end of class I saw a ruckus going on at one of the tables. The classroom teacher went to attend to it so I decided to stay out of the way. It's her classroom anyway. Well, two minutes later this little girl was sobbing hysterically in the corner while the teacher had a blank look on her face holding the girl's work. Now, I need to say, before I go on with the rest of the story, that the rest of the kids were creating super hero characters, stuffed animal characters, and things like that. I walked over to the teacher to find out what had happened and she held up these drawings of amoeba-like shapes accompanied by the appropriate character profiles. The teacher said (in the snottiest tone I have ever heard) "I don't know what to make of this. She says it's an antibody."
My jaw dropped. I looked at this girl's work and was blown away by her creativity. While her peers were enjoying the simple, black and white worlds of super heroes and ballerina teddy bears, this girl had created a character out of a concept that is even difficult for adults to grasp. This antibody (according to the profile she wrote) had lots of antibody friends but still felt alone. Its wish was to be able to relax and its fear was to be beaten by a germ. To me this demonstrated great sensitivity and understanding of another creature. The teacher did not even make the effort to notice that this girl actually did the work! She wasn't goofing off, she worked hard and then this teacher, essentially, backed up the other kids who were teasing her by not giving her the recognition for the work- whether she understood it or not. The requirements of the work were not difficult to recognize and she clearly did what was asked of her. At the very least she should have been rewarded for completing the assignment and then sent on her way to do more. Instead, she ended up sobbing in the corner.
I see this kind of thing all the time. Kids handing up their hard work to adults who only see and reward things that make sense to them. Hardly making the effort to see the world through the child's eyes because that is what they are giving you. When a child hands you a work of art, a story, or whatever their two hands and minds have made, they are showing you how they see the world and that is a gift. I'm so angry about this that, even a week later, I want to stomp on that teacher and ridicule her. (Of course, I won't) Today I will get a chance to sit down with this girl and talk to her about her work and give her my professional opinion. The teacher has already been spoken to, but I'm still angry because I know she didn't get it. It makes me wonder why she became a teacher in the first place if she doesn't value children. Or worse, if she only values some of them.
I tell you, if I ever catch anybody treating my son that way you're going to see one angry mama bear.
Now, don't run off and tell the world that I am some namby pamby new ager who wants every child to feel good and never corrected or put in competitive situations. It is important that all humans, regardless of age, are allowed to feel pain, anger and sadness. I'd argue that it is absolutely necessary. I just don't think we should go out with the express purpose of inflicting it on them! They'll take care of that one themselves, they don't need our help. I also thing discipline is of the utmost importance. Kids (and adults, for that matter) should feel the natural consequences of their actions. Teenage girls who collect and throw their own excrement on other teenage girls should have a priveledge or two taken away from them! And I don't think avoiding competition will prepare kids for the real world. Teaching them how to conduct themselves in competition would be better.
In particular, there was an incident at the school where I volunteer last week. I was teaching the kids how to create characters and recognize character traits in literature. The kids were going crazy making character profile after character profile and it was way fun. Toward the end of class I saw a ruckus going on at one of the tables. The classroom teacher went to attend to it so I decided to stay out of the way. It's her classroom anyway. Well, two minutes later this little girl was sobbing hysterically in the corner while the teacher had a blank look on her face holding the girl's work. Now, I need to say, before I go on with the rest of the story, that the rest of the kids were creating super hero characters, stuffed animal characters, and things like that. I walked over to the teacher to find out what had happened and she held up these drawings of amoeba-like shapes accompanied by the appropriate character profiles. The teacher said (in the snottiest tone I have ever heard) "I don't know what to make of this. She says it's an antibody."
My jaw dropped. I looked at this girl's work and was blown away by her creativity. While her peers were enjoying the simple, black and white worlds of super heroes and ballerina teddy bears, this girl had created a character out of a concept that is even difficult for adults to grasp. This antibody (according to the profile she wrote) had lots of antibody friends but still felt alone. Its wish was to be able to relax and its fear was to be beaten by a germ. To me this demonstrated great sensitivity and understanding of another creature. The teacher did not even make the effort to notice that this girl actually did the work! She wasn't goofing off, she worked hard and then this teacher, essentially, backed up the other kids who were teasing her by not giving her the recognition for the work- whether she understood it or not. The requirements of the work were not difficult to recognize and she clearly did what was asked of her. At the very least she should have been rewarded for completing the assignment and then sent on her way to do more. Instead, she ended up sobbing in the corner.
I see this kind of thing all the time. Kids handing up their hard work to adults who only see and reward things that make sense to them. Hardly making the effort to see the world through the child's eyes because that is what they are giving you. When a child hands you a work of art, a story, or whatever their two hands and minds have made, they are showing you how they see the world and that is a gift. I'm so angry about this that, even a week later, I want to stomp on that teacher and ridicule her. (Of course, I won't) Today I will get a chance to sit down with this girl and talk to her about her work and give her my professional opinion. The teacher has already been spoken to, but I'm still angry because I know she didn't get it. It makes me wonder why she became a teacher in the first place if she doesn't value children. Or worse, if she only values some of them.
I tell you, if I ever catch anybody treating my son that way you're going to see one angry mama bear.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 1:20 PM
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