Four Days
They say it only takes four days for a body to go to hell from neglect.
At least, this is what my trainer used to tell me. If you don't exercise everyday, or at least every other day, you will find it hard to stay in shape. Okay, Larry.
I was in my 20's then and my body felt great. Now I'm not in my 20's anymore and four days make a huge difference. Imagine how I feel now after almost a week! I had my first workout to get back in the groove today after a long and busy week. I would have postponed this workout, but the new mid-back tension prodded me to be pro-active. Ouch. I've got the body of a 90 year old. My back hurts, I'm stiff and sore, my posture is atrocious and my breathing! What a shock it is that I am back in a holding pattern with my breath. I thought I had eliminated that bizarre little anxious habit of mine years ago. It is so frustrating that I have to do all of this crap again. Stupid body!
Yesterday I was at a party and since it was just a room full of married people with kids, I decided to go comfortable. I wore my linen pants and my big, roomy, pink linen (men's) homespun shirt form India.
"Are you expecting?!"
She asked me this excitedly. Parents with more than one child are always eager for you to have another.
"No. I'm just fat. Thanks."
If there is one piece of advice I would like to give the world it is this:
IF YOU ARE NOT SURE, DON'T ASK A WOMAN IF SHE IS PREGNANT!
There are other, sneakier ways of finding out. My personal favorite is asking "Are you thinking about having any more kids?"
That one is freaking brilliant because then she can say " not right now..." or " As a matter of fact I'm due in November" and then you know! The great part about that is, if she is pregnant, you can be nice and act surprised, "You are not! I had no idea you were pregnant!" Hey, it may be a lie, but it will totally make the fat lady happy, and isn't that more important? And if she's not pregnant, you can keep your big mouth shut.
Also, please, please, please... if you DO run across an obviously pregnant lady remember that it is NEVER polite UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to say to a woman, "WOW! YOU'RE HUGE!" It doesn't matter if the hugeness is dues to an impending happy event. Just don't say it! It is ALWAYS rude and MEAN! And you don't want a rampaging elephant on your hands. With those hormones you never know what will happen. For your own safety, please be polite!
Well, this fat lady needs to make breakfast for her son.
Ouch.
At least, this is what my trainer used to tell me. If you don't exercise everyday, or at least every other day, you will find it hard to stay in shape. Okay, Larry.
I was in my 20's then and my body felt great. Now I'm not in my 20's anymore and four days make a huge difference. Imagine how I feel now after almost a week! I had my first workout to get back in the groove today after a long and busy week. I would have postponed this workout, but the new mid-back tension prodded me to be pro-active. Ouch. I've got the body of a 90 year old. My back hurts, I'm stiff and sore, my posture is atrocious and my breathing! What a shock it is that I am back in a holding pattern with my breath. I thought I had eliminated that bizarre little anxious habit of mine years ago. It is so frustrating that I have to do all of this crap again. Stupid body!
Yesterday I was at a party and since it was just a room full of married people with kids, I decided to go comfortable. I wore my linen pants and my big, roomy, pink linen (men's) homespun shirt form India.
"Are you expecting?!"
She asked me this excitedly. Parents with more than one child are always eager for you to have another.
"No. I'm just fat. Thanks."
If there is one piece of advice I would like to give the world it is this:
IF YOU ARE NOT SURE, DON'T ASK A WOMAN IF SHE IS PREGNANT!
There are other, sneakier ways of finding out. My personal favorite is asking "Are you thinking about having any more kids?"
That one is freaking brilliant because then she can say " not right now..." or " As a matter of fact I'm due in November" and then you know! The great part about that is, if she is pregnant, you can be nice and act surprised, "You are not! I had no idea you were pregnant!" Hey, it may be a lie, but it will totally make the fat lady happy, and isn't that more important? And if she's not pregnant, you can keep your big mouth shut.
Also, please, please, please... if you DO run across an obviously pregnant lady remember that it is NEVER polite UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to say to a woman, "WOW! YOU'RE HUGE!" It doesn't matter if the hugeness is dues to an impending happy event. Just don't say it! It is ALWAYS rude and MEAN! And you don't want a rampaging elephant on your hands. With those hormones you never know what will happen. For your own safety, please be polite!
Well, this fat lady needs to make breakfast for her son.
Ouch.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 7:17 AM
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