Where Did I See That?

Passing by a news stand today I saw a cover story- couldn't tell you if it was for a magazine, The Post, or whatever, but I did see a torso bearing a nametag reading "I'm Special". The headline said something to the effect of "Nonconformity is the New Conformity"- or some such. I tell ya, my man is a prophet. He said that same thing to an eye rolling "what- ever" twenty-something, who shall remain nameless, about 10 years ago. He called it way before Stephen Colbert called anything and Tommer doesn't have his own show. Although he pretends that he has one, occassionally pointing out to me that the audience loves it when he gives me a hard time. I usually counter with a frying pan or a rolling pin to the head. The "audience" only likes it when he gives me a hard time because they know I'll beat him mercilessly. This pretend audience of ours is a blood thirsty crew.

But I digress. Can I get an "amen" from the fuckin' weirdos out there? We need to thin out our ranks because some of us were born weird. The rest of all y'all are posers. So I've had to become normal to be weird.

I'd love to type more, but Bill Maher and beer are waiting for me in the other room.