Yosemite Sam, The Day After
Feeling much better now. I have this bad habit of not knowing that I've been at the end of my rope until there is no more rope. Whoops!
That's the thing, you can spend weeks and even months as a parent being so good and patient and loving- but all that goodness just wears you out. How long do I have to put up with this screaming human? I don't care if he's only four years old and he's experimenting with words and how they can be used to make someone happy and make someone sad. After a while, being called stupid will piss you off. And the copying thing. My older sister used to do that to me (and I'm pretty sure that if I pissed her off she'd do it to me again!) and it's so demeaning and obnoxious that I really have to work hard to not throw furniture.
Those of you that have known me over the years would be surprised to see just how well I can hold my temper with my son. A week or so ago, he had an hour long tantrum. He punched me twice in the nose and let me tell you, my son's got a pretty wicked jab. As I said, this sequel to The Excorcist went on for about an hour and I stuck it out. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't smack him around (but I can understand how other parents would be tempted- anything to shut him up- but I never have and I never will) and I didn't dismiss him. I knew that something huge was bothering him that he did not have the power to express so I set my boundaries. You need to sit over here and do what you need to do. I am going across the room because you are not allowed to hit me, but I will be keeping an eye on you to make sure you are safe. When you are able to calm yourself down, we can solve this problem. Can't do a thing while you're screaming. I'm here to help, but you need to calm yourself down.
It was a red letter day for my parenting skills. He eventually got out what was bothering him and we both felt better and then talked about ways to solve the problem before it got to the hitting, screaming, kicking point. But last night I just needed to be alone! He's been so tired lately that, by the time I pick him up from school, he's an absolute wreck. He's going through a growth spurt, not getting enough sleep, and still very upset about my back injury as well as Dad's crazy work schedule. I can be the most understanding Mom in the world- but I still need some time by myself without being pawed. My son hasn't nursed in two and a half years, but he still has an intense, emotional relationship with my breasts. "I just wanna rest my hand there!" I can just hear him trying to use that line on some future girlfriend. Sigh. I told my friend Prov that I had thought I had an easy going kid. She laughed right in my face. Okay, he's not exactly easy going. He's bright, funny and very sensitive but not so easy going. I love that kid. But sometimes I need to be left alone!
By 10:00 I had pretty much flipped my lid. I just couldn't believe he was still trying to jabber away at me, despite all my efforts to make the evening really boring. At one point I heard him imitating me on a trip to the bathroom and I have to say he had me down. He was muttering to himself, just like I do.
"Jesus Christ! I don't know why we have to go through this every night! When you are tired, lay down! Go to sleep! Why are you still up? You're going to be tired for school tomorrow!"
Damn, that was pretty funny.
That's the thing, you can spend weeks and even months as a parent being so good and patient and loving- but all that goodness just wears you out. How long do I have to put up with this screaming human? I don't care if he's only four years old and he's experimenting with words and how they can be used to make someone happy and make someone sad. After a while, being called stupid will piss you off. And the copying thing. My older sister used to do that to me (and I'm pretty sure that if I pissed her off she'd do it to me again!) and it's so demeaning and obnoxious that I really have to work hard to not throw furniture.
Those of you that have known me over the years would be surprised to see just how well I can hold my temper with my son. A week or so ago, he had an hour long tantrum. He punched me twice in the nose and let me tell you, my son's got a pretty wicked jab. As I said, this sequel to The Excorcist went on for about an hour and I stuck it out. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't smack him around (but I can understand how other parents would be tempted- anything to shut him up- but I never have and I never will) and I didn't dismiss him. I knew that something huge was bothering him that he did not have the power to express so I set my boundaries. You need to sit over here and do what you need to do. I am going across the room because you are not allowed to hit me, but I will be keeping an eye on you to make sure you are safe. When you are able to calm yourself down, we can solve this problem. Can't do a thing while you're screaming. I'm here to help, but you need to calm yourself down.
It was a red letter day for my parenting skills. He eventually got out what was bothering him and we both felt better and then talked about ways to solve the problem before it got to the hitting, screaming, kicking point. But last night I just needed to be alone! He's been so tired lately that, by the time I pick him up from school, he's an absolute wreck. He's going through a growth spurt, not getting enough sleep, and still very upset about my back injury as well as Dad's crazy work schedule. I can be the most understanding Mom in the world- but I still need some time by myself without being pawed. My son hasn't nursed in two and a half years, but he still has an intense, emotional relationship with my breasts. "I just wanna rest my hand there!" I can just hear him trying to use that line on some future girlfriend. Sigh. I told my friend Prov that I had thought I had an easy going kid. She laughed right in my face. Okay, he's not exactly easy going. He's bright, funny and very sensitive but not so easy going. I love that kid. But sometimes I need to be left alone!
By 10:00 I had pretty much flipped my lid. I just couldn't believe he was still trying to jabber away at me, despite all my efforts to make the evening really boring. At one point I heard him imitating me on a trip to the bathroom and I have to say he had me down. He was muttering to himself, just like I do.
"Jesus Christ! I don't know why we have to go through this every night! When you are tired, lay down! Go to sleep! Why are you still up? You're going to be tired for school tomorrow!"
Damn, that was pretty funny.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 9:18 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home