Regret

Caught between breath and sadness

I knew you when
I thought I knew myself

Would it surprise you to know that I still
Think about
Things we never did?

My lips never breathed on yours
My hand never rested inside your thigh

Does it surprise you to know
That I very much wanted to?

Regret that I never consummated my first
True heartbreak
And I can never make that same mistake
Those choices are dead to me
Like sterilized hallways
Mixed with your cigarette smoke
And unwashed hair

For me
Poetry lives in memory
Of that mistake

To have taken your body to mine
Would have destroyed me completely
And yet I still regret
Not taking the chance to give to you the only me
I ever had