PPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTT!

I don't want to work. I don't want to solve problems. I don't even want coffee. (GASP!) My main email account is down and I am alone in the house- which is both a good thing and a bad thing. I'm restless but in a fairly decent mood. I want to make the best of my next couple of hours of freedom, but not sure just how to do that.

Oh, this morning I said "pissed" to my son's pre-K teacher and I feel really stupid about it. You'd think a thing like that wouldn't bother me much, but it does. Here's the idiotic background to my neurotic parenting story...

I was busy chatting it up with my new mom-friend while our kids played on the playground before school this morning. Suddenly I heard a scuffle by the swirly slide and knew that Sullivan was in trouble. There was Sully bawling his eyes out next to a boy (a rather formidable looking fellow) who had clearly been socked in the eye. Just like in the Terminator movies, I assessed the situation panning quickly from detail to detail. Large boy holding left eye. Same eye streaming tears. Smaller boy crying and screaming holding broken stick. Dear God, I hope Sullivan didn't poke that kid in the eye with the stick! Well, the other fellow just shrugged it off and went into the classroom while I felt the eyes of the other parents on me. BAD MOTHER! I made a mental note to beat myself up later for allowing Sullivan to carry a stick onto the playground to begin with. Then I tried to get the details from Sullivan.

Well, I could not figure out what had gone wrong and when I approached the other little boy about it to see if he was okay, he looked at me as if I was freaking nuts. What are you talking to me for, lady? I can take care of myself! Sullivan was, well, pissed. He told me that he hated this kid and he wanted him to die. Obviously, I took a time out from the discussion at hand to point out that wishing someone to die is a horrible thing and that we should be careful about the things we say- blah blah blah, yackety schmackety. I was clearly getting nowhere. One of Sullivan's pals showed up and the tears dried instantly and all was forgotten.

I decided to give his teacher a heads up on the situation in case something came up later in the day she would be prepared. Then I did a stupid thing. I said:

"The other boy seems fine and didn't really care enough to talk about it, but Sullivan was pretty pissed."

She looked at me then said "What?"

And I repeated it. She looked like I had punched her in the stomach then she automatically checked the kids near us to see if they had heard what the nasty lady said. She thanked me for bringing it to her attention and then quickly moved away from me.

I know I am blowing this way out of proportion, but I know that language is inappropriate around small children, but there was also a large hermit crab nearby and I am pretty sure none of these children heard me. I'm a pretty casual person, and normally I am pretty careful about things like that, but at the moment "pissed" was the exact word to describe what was happening with Sullivan. I know it is pretty stupid to feel stupid about such an insignificant faux pas, but I can't help imagining what she must think of me right now! I'm afraid CPS will be beating down my door later this evening because I endagered so many children with my potty mouth.

Hey- interesting development in the last 2 minutes... I'm going to go to Philly this weekend. Wahoo- super party. Mama's gonna get some girl time in the City of Brotherly Love. Maybe I can get over my social issues there.