Rediscovering Self
I haven't picked up a serious acting text in four or five years. I decided to dip into a little Grotowsky. Even though I find the writing style and use of language pompous and hyper-intellectual, it is a lot like finding home. As much as I try to distance myself from obsessive analysis and practice, it is in this world that I belong.
Now, there are many worlds within the theatre (and film as well) and since moving to New York I have been immersed in a very commercial world. This was not the world that lead me to the theatre in the first place. What attracted me was thought, discussion, craft, theory, theory, theory, theory, and ensemble. After all, what was theatre for me other than active, public philosophy? What do I really want out of the theatre? I want passion, questioning, connection with other humans, and challenges. These are things that the commercial world despises. If people sat down, enjoyed themselves (first and foremost), were challenged to think, found themselves deeply involved with other humans, and began questioning the most basic assumptions of our society- would they still consume to the same degree? If we were so secure and connected, would there still be that impulse buy section by the cash register? Would we have any need at all for King Sized M&M's and the latest issue of Cosmo? Being involved in the commercial realm means that one must uphold a system obsessed with ranking and quantifying. Things I find objectionable.
Of course, I would like to make money. I don't particularly care for fame, but a little notoriety would be something for me. I'd like to leave behind a little something of my work- a footprint on the moon, so to speak. Something that will be a record of my contribution to thought and process. The challenge is to make these things balance. I don't want to become so overwhelmed and obsessed with making money for creature comforts nor do I want to be so immersed in art that I become so out of touch with an audience outside of late night NPR junkies.
Oh well. I can't solve it today so I think I will need to do my daily stretches and then eat a doughnut. Balance, my friends. Balance.
Now, there are many worlds within the theatre (and film as well) and since moving to New York I have been immersed in a very commercial world. This was not the world that lead me to the theatre in the first place. What attracted me was thought, discussion, craft, theory, theory, theory, theory, and ensemble. After all, what was theatre for me other than active, public philosophy? What do I really want out of the theatre? I want passion, questioning, connection with other humans, and challenges. These are things that the commercial world despises. If people sat down, enjoyed themselves (first and foremost), were challenged to think, found themselves deeply involved with other humans, and began questioning the most basic assumptions of our society- would they still consume to the same degree? If we were so secure and connected, would there still be that impulse buy section by the cash register? Would we have any need at all for King Sized M&M's and the latest issue of Cosmo? Being involved in the commercial realm means that one must uphold a system obsessed with ranking and quantifying. Things I find objectionable.
Of course, I would like to make money. I don't particularly care for fame, but a little notoriety would be something for me. I'd like to leave behind a little something of my work- a footprint on the moon, so to speak. Something that will be a record of my contribution to thought and process. The challenge is to make these things balance. I don't want to become so overwhelmed and obsessed with making money for creature comforts nor do I want to be so immersed in art that I become so out of touch with an audience outside of late night NPR junkies.
Oh well. I can't solve it today so I think I will need to do my daily stretches and then eat a doughnut. Balance, my friends. Balance.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 12:55 PM
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