Vermin

Okay. I've had it. The bedbugs have been gone for several weeks and now my neighbor tells me she woke up with tons of them in her bed (they usually run before you will ever see them) so I know they'll be back. I'm bracing myself for the onslaught. Yesterday I swear something tiny with claws scurried over my foot in the bathroom. Tom thinks I'm nuts, but I know those little bastards are out there. And just now, while I was baking my plum and nectarine crisp I saw a roach.

How much more can a girl take?

I have everything encased in plastic. I vacuum at least every other day if not every day. I wash. I dust. I can't keep this house any cleaner than it already is without forsaking the love and affection of those I am struggling to protect! I am afraid to walk around barefoot. I would not be one bit surprised if I had mother fucking snakes in my mother fucking bedroom!

Maybe I should stock up on pets that hunt vermin. I'll get a rat terrier a mongoose and...what eats bedbugs? Maybe a monkey?

I think I am going to lose my mind.