I Hate To Be Hippy Dippy, But...
Some people feel there is no real purpose to a woman's period.
Why does this bother me?
Birth control doesn't bother me. Women having the right to choose how they are going to deal with their own pregnancy does not make me lose any sleep. So, why does it freak me out that young women are coming to the conclusion that a period is nothing but a monthly nuisance and a hinderance to their freedom?
I guess I find that kind of offensive. I think we are brought up to look at our bodies as inherently flawed and disgusting. Instead of being encouraged to examine those difficult thoughts and feelings that often accompany the onset of our cycle we are told we're hysterical and taught to ignore the wisdom of our own bodies. It is my opinion (and you must take it as such because I could be horribly wrong) that so much PMS is a symptom of the hating we do on our bodies. It is a way for that which is ultimately feminine in ourselves to rise up and give us warning. This is not to say that the pain and discomfort of PMS is "in our heads". No, this pain is very real. But I subscribe to the belief that the reason things bother us so intensely during our periods is not because we're nuts but because something in our lives needs immediate attention. Our bodies are telling us that we need to slow down, take time, reflect and heal. And we want to erradicate that from our lives because it is inconvenient.
And yet you will find in any group of grown women conversations peppered with phrases like "You need to take some time to yourself" and "What are you doing to be kind to yourself right now?". Why do we want to turn that message off internally? How many women do you know who won't take a vacation until they have a heart attack and wind up in the hospital? The pain of PMS is not punishment. It is the only message a woman will actually listen to. What do we do when we have cramps? We fucking lie down and take a break. We'd do ourselves one better if we used that time our bodies gave us to nurture ourselves in some way. Ask yourself this, if your body sent you flowers and a box of chocolates would you make as much time for resting as you would when you have cramps?
A period IS necessary. It is a built in tool to help assess our lives. I'm terrified that women will run themselves into the ground without one. At least, I know that is what I would do.
I can't deny that there are women in excrutiating physical pain due to their periods. I'm not saying we shouldn't try to alleviate that pain. I'm just saying we should approach these methods cautiously, very cautiously.
Why does this bother me?
Birth control doesn't bother me. Women having the right to choose how they are going to deal with their own pregnancy does not make me lose any sleep. So, why does it freak me out that young women are coming to the conclusion that a period is nothing but a monthly nuisance and a hinderance to their freedom?
I guess I find that kind of offensive. I think we are brought up to look at our bodies as inherently flawed and disgusting. Instead of being encouraged to examine those difficult thoughts and feelings that often accompany the onset of our cycle we are told we're hysterical and taught to ignore the wisdom of our own bodies. It is my opinion (and you must take it as such because I could be horribly wrong) that so much PMS is a symptom of the hating we do on our bodies. It is a way for that which is ultimately feminine in ourselves to rise up and give us warning. This is not to say that the pain and discomfort of PMS is "in our heads". No, this pain is very real. But I subscribe to the belief that the reason things bother us so intensely during our periods is not because we're nuts but because something in our lives needs immediate attention. Our bodies are telling us that we need to slow down, take time, reflect and heal. And we want to erradicate that from our lives because it is inconvenient.
And yet you will find in any group of grown women conversations peppered with phrases like "You need to take some time to yourself" and "What are you doing to be kind to yourself right now?". Why do we want to turn that message off internally? How many women do you know who won't take a vacation until they have a heart attack and wind up in the hospital? The pain of PMS is not punishment. It is the only message a woman will actually listen to. What do we do when we have cramps? We fucking lie down and take a break. We'd do ourselves one better if we used that time our bodies gave us to nurture ourselves in some way. Ask yourself this, if your body sent you flowers and a box of chocolates would you make as much time for resting as you would when you have cramps?
A period IS necessary. It is a built in tool to help assess our lives. I'm terrified that women will run themselves into the ground without one. At least, I know that is what I would do.
I can't deny that there are women in excrutiating physical pain due to their periods. I'm not saying we shouldn't try to alleviate that pain. I'm just saying we should approach these methods cautiously, very cautiously.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 1:44 AM
6 Comments:
I know the conversation -- I've had the lucky ability to blend in well at girl-chat time and I'm often forgotten until after the confessions are made and signed in blood...
I have been just as apalled when I hear someone relegating the menstral cycle to "mere inconvenience". Okay, I'm a guy, so I probably have no business saying much of anything....
But seriously. Society has taken womanhood and it seems that it has tried to shove it into a box as something not quite right. I'm no chauvenist (ask my wife), but menstration is the trade-off of being capable of performing the most awesome of miracles -- giving birth.
Why does it seem like everyone wants to give up that ability so purposefully and so readily? It's the same thing as hips and breasts -- what is it about stick-like women men find so appealing? Do men of America really have a latent need to make love to a breastless, hipless substitute for a woman and do women really want to be "boyish"? What's the fun in that?
So, to read a rant about women who suggests that menstration is mere inconvenience.... It strikes me in the same way as people who have children, only to hand them off to someone else for upbringing (e.g. a rich couple I knew who had an au pair -- not because she was needed or that they wanted to contribute to the education of the world, but because babies stood in the way of the stay-at-home mother's need to attend her health club and social clubs. The kids were status symbols, not a celebration of life).
In ways, I think that feminism died a while ago. Instead of promoting and celebrating women's rights -- it's become a medium by which many people of the day yoke themselves willingly to the idea that to be female is a disease to be "cured", not the second necessary half of the equation.
Pass that Jameson and I'll shut up now. (Stupid git.)
Not only is it important for women to keep in touch with their lunar cycle, but more men need to keep in touch with their solar cycle. I can forget this all the freakin' time. Then my wife hits her lunar cycle and I suddenly am forced to remember my own cycle. Trying to separate ourselves from this is not an imperative until we have the technology to remove ourselves from the influence of these astronomical influences. Let's not put the cart before the horse.
I appreciate your comments regardless of your gender but a couple of things make me bristle a tad. First, and this is obviously weighted with my own experience as a stay-at-home mom, the idea that some assistance in the home is somehow frivolous while the mother pursues her own interests makes me want to scream. I gave up four years of my life because I thought it was the right thing to do and boy was I wrong. I set both myself and my son back, not to mention jeopardized my marriage, by ignoring my own need for grown up pursuits. Social clubs often support community services and programs that fill gaps for some families and taking care of yourself and your own body can be one of the greatest gifts you can give to your children. There is a saying "When Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" and that has been proven true time and again in my household. I just wish I had had the balls to ask for what I needed when I needed it- a mistake I will not make again.
Second, I don't know why we would care to remove ourselves from "astronomical influences". Although, I don't think that you are seriously suggesting that we should. I can't really tell, though. Just the suggestion, though, makes me a bit creeped out.
Just talkin' about the Lunar and Solar influences inparticular. Talkin' about space migration and the eventual explorations out of the solar system. No clue how the human body will change to accomodate this but I can imagine a very real need for some modifications.
I wasn't saying that help wasn't necessary.
I was saying that people who don't interact with their own children and expect a nanny to raise them is sad and pathetic. Not "help raise", but raise because they are too busy going to the golf course. Or shopping for the latest fashions.
That irks me. Why have children if they are just, well, too messy until they've gotten old enough to earn an independent income?
Sorry to make you feel like screaming. That was never my intent.
I guess I just don't see that very much. I know parents who definitely depend on their nannies and au pairs a bit beyond what would make me, personally, comfortable but I don't REALLY know what goes on inside those homes. I like to assume that people are doing the best they can and, in my experience, I've never run across a family where BOTH parents use their kids as "status symbols". In the end, that's a pretty piss poor status deal because they are a lot of work, very expensive, and if you suck at it they'll make you pay. I've seen it where one parent is a weak link, but the other usually tries to make up for the loss in some way. It may be in a horribly misguided way, but they usually try. It is so easy to look at people's habits and make cut and dried judgments about how well they are functioning, but you just never really know. Families are complex organisms and I learned rather quickly on the playground that things are rarely what they seem. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes that's not so good, but I will caution you against those assumptions. You could be wrong.
After all, Colin's father in "The Secret Garden" avoided his son because he was so afraid of losing him he just couldn't bare it. Humans are fussy and incomprehensible creatures, prone to doing nasty things with broken hearts and the best of intentions. I find it's probably best to apply a little compassion. I do not believe for one second that any normal human being could endure the soul splitting experience that is childbirth and not have something invested in the outcome. Just like with anything else, some people deal with the pressure differently than others. If you look deeper, those people are often in a lot of pain and they won't change on account of wagging fingers.
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