You Mean I Missed What?
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of giving really stellar, amazing, insightful advise only to come to the realization that you should practice a little of what you preach?
Today I was spot on. I know I'm spot on when my friends turn to me and say, "Aw, fuck you." I've struck a nerve and I know it and they know it and we both know I'm right. Today I got the "fuck you" from a friend and realized that, as I was talking about her and her specific woes, that I could have just as easily been addressing myself. Physician, heal thyself, eh?
That's what I love about other people's lives- they're not mine.
One of the things that I have realized this past weekend is that I no longer believe that success is possible for me. I'm searching for these qualities in others (who will hopefully save me!) because I am afraid that I do not possess those qualities myself. That is a completely uncomfortable truth and now that I am faced with it in myself I really want to tell myself to fuck off.
It was much easier not knowing.
Today I was spot on. I know I'm spot on when my friends turn to me and say, "Aw, fuck you." I've struck a nerve and I know it and they know it and we both know I'm right. Today I got the "fuck you" from a friend and realized that, as I was talking about her and her specific woes, that I could have just as easily been addressing myself. Physician, heal thyself, eh?
That's what I love about other people's lives- they're not mine.
One of the things that I have realized this past weekend is that I no longer believe that success is possible for me. I'm searching for these qualities in others (who will hopefully save me!) because I am afraid that I do not possess those qualities myself. That is a completely uncomfortable truth and now that I am faced with it in myself I really want to tell myself to fuck off.
It was much easier not knowing.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 11:09 PM
2 Comments:
Can you tell me to fuck off while you tell yourself please? I've got that awfully loud voice in my brain telling me to its all too late. Too old now for the kinds of successes I used to dream of. Strangely enough I found out that someone 10 years younger than me feels the same way.
Maybe its not us that need to fuck off after all. Maybe it’s a culture that worships youth and immediacy above all else.
Besides. You're already a success. You know that...
Amen. Of course, that just puts more pressure on us to be exceedingly fabulous in order to change that whole "youth" perception. It seems like I'm never young enough or old enough. If I was in my 50's and having an attack of my midlife wahoos I'd be celebrated. If I was 20 and doing this stuff people would be so impressed with my chutspah. Since I'm in my 30's the reaction is totally "meh". Perhaps that's the curse of my generation.
Solider on. What else can I do?
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