Okay, Ow...ow...ow

So, we have bed bugs.

Apparently, I am allergic to the bites of these little bastards. My arm has swollen like a freaking watermelon, the flesh is drawn tight, it is itchy and painful. I'm embarassed about the infestation to boot.

If you are not aware, bed bugs do not live in filth, so you can't really clean them away. They are attracted to warmth and exhaled carbon dioxide. They are not known to be disease carriers, but if you are allergic to the protein in their saliva you can be made quite miserable- apparently. No one else in the family is having this kind of reaction so I am getting very little sympathy. They are not impressed by my swelling or the tremendous amount of heat generated from the afflicted area (It's like a freakin' heating pad!) nor are they saddened by the sight of my sad pawing and scratching at my arm. I've about had it up to here!

Pity me! Stroke my hair and say, "Oh baby, that's terrible. Let me fix you some tea. Let's call that exterminator and don't worry about laundering the blankets, I'll do it. Hell, I'll just buy you a brand new bed! And perhaps some jewels for your pain and suffering."

Now, is that just too much to ask?