Holy Figuring It Out, Batman!
I've had these discussions with single women lately about body image and fashion. I've also had discussions with these same single women about so called "raunch culture", media and entertainment. I've had a lot of these conversations over a lifetime. I have to scratch my head about it a bit.
The general consensus from these single women is that they feel attacked and irritated by how clothing is sized (Large is now a size 8- come on people!) and how women are made to feel inferior if they don't match up with these unrealistic ideals. I have a friend who was a size 4 and went up to a size 6 (she's 6 feet tall, people!) and she's been beating herself up about her weight gain. Then she gets angry about media images that beat her over the head every time she walks out the door. It's unfair, she says, I wish I could just walk out the door and live my life without having to think about the little number 6 on the tag inside my pants.
I have other friends with similar complaints accompanied by different numbers. I hear it. One friend said to me that certain companies should take it upon themselves to help women feel better about themselves but instead they play on our fears and our insecurities and we subconsciously make it a goal to lose weight or whatever so that we can fit into certain clothes made by such and such or so and so. Yup. I agree, that is totally self defeating. We should stop doing that.
But what I find interesting is that through these discussions I discover an attitude that there should be some social responsibility on the part of manufacturers and outlets to be more welcoming and help women alleviate this kind of stress. There is an idea that women are clamoring for a different kind of community that supports their self esteem and is more nurturing the their own self interests. Stop selling us bad stuff. Even though we want it and we buy it, please sell us what is good for us. Help us be healthy even though we want the junk. We desire the candy, but don't make it available- we can't control ourselves. We live to compare ourselves and beat ourselves up! Don't let us! Please help us to stop!
Yet, in the next breath, if I mention how the school system is failing and we aren't getting even the tax dollars that were promised to us the single women snort about how they don't have kids and don't want their property taxes raised to pay for schools. Gotcha. Then they tell me that they get upset when people criticize prime time television programming for it's crassness and parents should just be more responsible for their own households. Or I hear people complaining about kids in restaurants but if they see someone disciplining their child they look down their noses at you, the evil child abuser.
The basic message I get is this: Support me! Love me! Take care of me and hold my hand when I don't have the strength to do something for myself. What? You need help? You need to create a nurturing and supportive environment in which to raise your kids? Fuck you, they aren't my kids. That just cramps my oh-so-hip style.
I just think it is funny that people don't see that if you want a community that supports you, you have to support others. If you want people to be responsible for the images that hurt or offend you, you need to be equally respectful of others. If it's a free for all, then it's a free for all. If we're in it as a team, then you have to play on the fucking team.
You can't have it both ways.
The general consensus from these single women is that they feel attacked and irritated by how clothing is sized (Large is now a size 8- come on people!) and how women are made to feel inferior if they don't match up with these unrealistic ideals. I have a friend who was a size 4 and went up to a size 6 (she's 6 feet tall, people!) and she's been beating herself up about her weight gain. Then she gets angry about media images that beat her over the head every time she walks out the door. It's unfair, she says, I wish I could just walk out the door and live my life without having to think about the little number 6 on the tag inside my pants.
I have other friends with similar complaints accompanied by different numbers. I hear it. One friend said to me that certain companies should take it upon themselves to help women feel better about themselves but instead they play on our fears and our insecurities and we subconsciously make it a goal to lose weight or whatever so that we can fit into certain clothes made by such and such or so and so. Yup. I agree, that is totally self defeating. We should stop doing that.
But what I find interesting is that through these discussions I discover an attitude that there should be some social responsibility on the part of manufacturers and outlets to be more welcoming and help women alleviate this kind of stress. There is an idea that women are clamoring for a different kind of community that supports their self esteem and is more nurturing the their own self interests. Stop selling us bad stuff. Even though we want it and we buy it, please sell us what is good for us. Help us be healthy even though we want the junk. We desire the candy, but don't make it available- we can't control ourselves. We live to compare ourselves and beat ourselves up! Don't let us! Please help us to stop!
Yet, in the next breath, if I mention how the school system is failing and we aren't getting even the tax dollars that were promised to us the single women snort about how they don't have kids and don't want their property taxes raised to pay for schools. Gotcha. Then they tell me that they get upset when people criticize prime time television programming for it's crassness and parents should just be more responsible for their own households. Or I hear people complaining about kids in restaurants but if they see someone disciplining their child they look down their noses at you, the evil child abuser.
The basic message I get is this: Support me! Love me! Take care of me and hold my hand when I don't have the strength to do something for myself. What? You need help? You need to create a nurturing and supportive environment in which to raise your kids? Fuck you, they aren't my kids. That just cramps my oh-so-hip style.
I just think it is funny that people don't see that if you want a community that supports you, you have to support others. If you want people to be responsible for the images that hurt or offend you, you need to be equally respectful of others. If it's a free for all, then it's a free for all. If we're in it as a team, then you have to play on the fucking team.
You can't have it both ways.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 10:54 AM
1 Comments:
Tell them to go to Torrid and grab a size 4. Though I still think the ultra skinny girls feel like they are fat because guys are ignoring them to hang out with chubbier girls who know how to have a good time.
As for the kids and taxes thing, yeah. I got suckered into voting to raise my own property taxes once for school funding. Then I figured it out. Government is spending tons of money in places I DON'T want to support because they know that it's easier to tell people "Think of the Children" then it is to say "Think of the depleted uranium rounds!" Fund the hell out of schools. Go nuts. Just divert the funds from elsewhere. Teaching should be the highest paid profession in the world. They have to put up with those little bastards without the aid of a cattle prod.
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