And It's Not Just THAT Guy!
I don't think I will ever get used to the way some men talk to me.
I'm used to double entendres, I'm accustomed to facetious come ons and I have no difficulty having frank, psuedo academic discussions about my likes and dislikes. These things do not cause me much trouble. They are safe. The men who engage in this kind of talk with me are close friends who would never do more than tease and I do not entertain the possibility. That is clear. For the last 12 1/2 years, everyone has known that I am virtuous and devoted to one man and one man only. But, if there's a free drink in it (and there usually is) I will play the role of lusty vamp. It's camp. No one ever complains.
But occasionally I run across a certain breed of New Yorker that has no inner monologue. They'll cross the line from the so-filthy-its-absurd into actual wooing. And I do mean wooing.
A guy I met a couple of weeks ago got into a run of the mill discussion with me. You know, where are you from? What's it like there? Blah blah blah. When, in the middle of this getting to know you banter, he just says, "Wow, you know, you're really lovely."
Now, what the fuck is a girl supposed to do with that? People don't just SAY that. That's something you say over a candle lit dinner with warmth and honesty in your voice and a Trojan in your back pocket. That's not something that comes up during the obligatory "So how did you end up in New York" talk! So, I'm reeling from that odd statement when he pulls out another uncomfortable statement.
"I know I don't know you at all, but you just light up a room, don't you? And your voice is so nice, you really are a pleasure to be around."
What the hell kind of crap is that? Seriously, I would have felt less awkward if he would have looked me up and down and asked me where I got all that junk in my trunk. At least I would have been able to say- Oh, okay, I get it. This guy is an asshole. But this sugary nice shit? How the hell do you read that? Because, I'll tell ya, it sounds like a total crock of shit to me and I can't quite figure out what he would hope to gain by talking like that. Certainly, there aren't any ladies out there falling for that kind of crap, are there? I mean, over the age of 20?
So, what the hell is wrong with me that something like that makes me so freaking uncomfortable? He looked me straight in the eye and did not once give me the up and down. And the thing is, it's not just that guy! I've run into the same kind of thing a lot over the years here in NYC. It's like they all sat in on the same seminar or some shit. Some misguided jerk off told these guys that women like to hear these kinds of things, and maybe we do- but that should be the closer! The place for that is just before (if you're not really sure whether the Minolo Blahniks are coming off or not tonight) or just after. If you think you might want to do that with her again at some point in the future but are too tired to stay up all night and chat, you trot one of those babies out and give her a little reassurance before you drift off into la la land. You don't just go spouting that kind of crap to any woman you meet! That just smacks of desperation.
This is why men hate women, isn't it? I'm sorry, but, would you fellas just fucking figure it out already!? Be nice, but don't lay it on so freaking thick. That's just creepy.
I'm used to double entendres, I'm accustomed to facetious come ons and I have no difficulty having frank, psuedo academic discussions about my likes and dislikes. These things do not cause me much trouble. They are safe. The men who engage in this kind of talk with me are close friends who would never do more than tease and I do not entertain the possibility. That is clear. For the last 12 1/2 years, everyone has known that I am virtuous and devoted to one man and one man only. But, if there's a free drink in it (and there usually is) I will play the role of lusty vamp. It's camp. No one ever complains.
But occasionally I run across a certain breed of New Yorker that has no inner monologue. They'll cross the line from the so-filthy-its-absurd into actual wooing. And I do mean wooing.
A guy I met a couple of weeks ago got into a run of the mill discussion with me. You know, where are you from? What's it like there? Blah blah blah. When, in the middle of this getting to know you banter, he just says, "Wow, you know, you're really lovely."
Now, what the fuck is a girl supposed to do with that? People don't just SAY that. That's something you say over a candle lit dinner with warmth and honesty in your voice and a Trojan in your back pocket. That's not something that comes up during the obligatory "So how did you end up in New York" talk! So, I'm reeling from that odd statement when he pulls out another uncomfortable statement.
"I know I don't know you at all, but you just light up a room, don't you? And your voice is so nice, you really are a pleasure to be around."
What the hell kind of crap is that? Seriously, I would have felt less awkward if he would have looked me up and down and asked me where I got all that junk in my trunk. At least I would have been able to say- Oh, okay, I get it. This guy is an asshole. But this sugary nice shit? How the hell do you read that? Because, I'll tell ya, it sounds like a total crock of shit to me and I can't quite figure out what he would hope to gain by talking like that. Certainly, there aren't any ladies out there falling for that kind of crap, are there? I mean, over the age of 20?
So, what the hell is wrong with me that something like that makes me so freaking uncomfortable? He looked me straight in the eye and did not once give me the up and down. And the thing is, it's not just that guy! I've run into the same kind of thing a lot over the years here in NYC. It's like they all sat in on the same seminar or some shit. Some misguided jerk off told these guys that women like to hear these kinds of things, and maybe we do- but that should be the closer! The place for that is just before (if you're not really sure whether the Minolo Blahniks are coming off or not tonight) or just after. If you think you might want to do that with her again at some point in the future but are too tired to stay up all night and chat, you trot one of those babies out and give her a little reassurance before you drift off into la la land. You don't just go spouting that kind of crap to any woman you meet! That just smacks of desperation.
This is why men hate women, isn't it? I'm sorry, but, would you fellas just fucking figure it out already!? Be nice, but don't lay it on so freaking thick. That's just creepy.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 10:10 PM
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