Walter Matthau

Be prepared, I am about to say something that is almost never said. Thank God (or any diety, powerful public figure, or delicious nugat centered treat of your choice) for the 70's. I'll tell you why. The 70's allowed Walter Matthau to be a leading man.

That floppy hound dog face would barely be able to eek out a living as a character actor today. He certainly would be laughed out of a casting office if he dared come in for a leading role. Today, "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three" would have been cast with Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis as the grumbling, quick thinking chief of security for the New York Subway system. I've seen the guys who work the subway. Tom Cruise they ain't, but that doesn't make them any less interesting. In fact, I would argue that it makes them MORE interesting. Matthau turned this man not into a hyper-capable superman with a dirty t-shirt and a smoldering look, but into a real man. A man that might be your Dad. He wore a suit. He did his job. He got the bad guy through the strength of his intellect, not the size of his pecs or the caliber of his weapon.

"House Calls", a romantic comedy co-starring Glenda Jackson, would also have suffered with a pretty boy in the lead. Matthau is just so decent in his lechery and so damn likeable! He's so comfortable in his saggy, old before his time skin that there is not a trace of doubt in my mind that young women would throw themselves at him. Of course, his character is also a successful and recently widowed surgeon which may add to the appeal, but he's still Walter. Glorious, jowly, immensely funny Walter with his terrible posture and his rather glib speech that sounds like his tongue is just a little too big for his mouth. Wonderful Walter, with that twinkle in his eye and some unknown confidence in his pants. There is something truly engaging about him, his face, and his incredible personality.

Besides being a great personality, he had great skill as an actor that allowed his personality to come through no matter what. In "Bad News Bears" his drunken state was not just a joke. Even though there was humor in it, there was something ultimately human and sad about it. Matthau's Buttermaker is a guy you want to smack so hard that he shits teeth for weeks, but you don't because there is always the hope that he will wake up and make things right in the end. Matthau can inspire your faith even when he doesn't deserve it. Remember the scene when he gives poor little Tatum O'Neal the riot act and says unspeakably cruel things about not really wanting to have anything to do with her? Tatum leaves the dugout and Walter is left alone with his beer. He drinks it, but we see how hurting her truly hurt him. He couldn't help himself. That's when we understand something about people, about ourselves.

That is what a story is supposed to do. Not teach us or preach at us or numb us with art direction and special effects, but to show us a little something of ourselves in the most unexpected of places. There just isn't enough of that these days. Not enough interesting people making interesting choices. Sometimes I think my iMac on a skateboard with one of those stilted voices in SimpleText would make a better actor than the crop I see making films today. Of course, I know that is a gross exaggeration, but for the next few minutes I'd like you to think about how no one can really hold a candle to that gorgeous actor of an actor, Mr. Walter Matthau.