Pining for the Fjords
A dear friend of mine is getting married in Oslo this August. To be honest, I was afraid of searching for flights because I am a little tight on cash right now and was afraid that expensive flights would dash my dreams of a brief respite from my motherly and wifely duties. I was feeling mighty low after searching and searching and finding very little under $900. I tried Priceline and I made a very low bid- hey a gal's gotta try, right? Well, they gave me a chance to make my trip as unpleasant as possible in return for a cheaper fare. I pulled out all the stops. I said I would take three connections both ways, I'd travel in a non-jet aircraft, I'd crawl across broken glass and then submit to hours of "pink belly" torture and taunts from skinny French women eating rich desserts. Alas, 'twas all for naught. Priceline thought my bid too low and then refused to let me make another bid. Apparently I had offended them and their carriers in my quest for value.
Tonight I may have found an affordable fare. Since my paranoia about pricey flights and broken vacation dreams keeps me up at night, I will not mention where I found it. I know you're all out there, waiting to buy up all the tickets on international flights to keep me from my desired destination. In fact, I've said too much already...
My other paranoia is my passport. I have some horrible feeling that I will purchase my flight and then my passport will be denied. It can't be possible, they won't ever let me leave the country, will they? I'm a treasured National Resource! If I am gone, who else will make paper top hats and serve goldfish crackers with cream cheese on the end of a straw so you can actually "fish" for your goldfish? Who will be there to do that?! (Incidentally, I discovered that goldfish- tasty though they are- are phenomenal when paired with cream cheese. So flippin' good!) Obviously, the economy would collapse if I were not here to drive sales for Pepperidge Farm and Philidelphia cream cheese to such lofty heights.
Of course I will be leaving Tom and Sullivan to themselves for nearly a week. The most time I have spent away from Sullivan in his life has been 28 hours. The fact that I have it counted by hours should give you a hint about how I feel about being away from him. I shudder to think what the house will look like when I get back.
I know I need this and need it desperately as I have been on round the clock duty for 3 1/2 years but...it all just sounds too good to be true! What would I be like if I was able to sleep, wake and drink when I wanted to? What would it be like to be able to use the bathroom by myself without a nosy little boy barging in declaring "But I NEED you!" What kind of woman would I be if I had time to actually look in the mirror and think about the clothing on my bod?! I guess I would need to buy some shoes besides the flip flops I am still wearing from last summer... (Sad, but true- I am the cheapest woman alive!)
In every family sitcom there is always an episode where Mom loses it and does something wacky like go on strike or run off for a week or some such nonsense. The family then learns that Mom's job is a thankless one and that they had better shape up and help out a little more often.
That would be nice. However, jewelry would suffice.
Tonight I may have found an affordable fare. Since my paranoia about pricey flights and broken vacation dreams keeps me up at night, I will not mention where I found it. I know you're all out there, waiting to buy up all the tickets on international flights to keep me from my desired destination. In fact, I've said too much already...
My other paranoia is my passport. I have some horrible feeling that I will purchase my flight and then my passport will be denied. It can't be possible, they won't ever let me leave the country, will they? I'm a treasured National Resource! If I am gone, who else will make paper top hats and serve goldfish crackers with cream cheese on the end of a straw so you can actually "fish" for your goldfish? Who will be there to do that?! (Incidentally, I discovered that goldfish- tasty though they are- are phenomenal when paired with cream cheese. So flippin' good!) Obviously, the economy would collapse if I were not here to drive sales for Pepperidge Farm and Philidelphia cream cheese to such lofty heights.
Of course I will be leaving Tom and Sullivan to themselves for nearly a week. The most time I have spent away from Sullivan in his life has been 28 hours. The fact that I have it counted by hours should give you a hint about how I feel about being away from him. I shudder to think what the house will look like when I get back.
I know I need this and need it desperately as I have been on round the clock duty for 3 1/2 years but...it all just sounds too good to be true! What would I be like if I was able to sleep, wake and drink when I wanted to? What would it be like to be able to use the bathroom by myself without a nosy little boy barging in declaring "But I NEED you!" What kind of woman would I be if I had time to actually look in the mirror and think about the clothing on my bod?! I guess I would need to buy some shoes besides the flip flops I am still wearing from last summer... (Sad, but true- I am the cheapest woman alive!)
In every family sitcom there is always an episode where Mom loses it and does something wacky like go on strike or run off for a week or some such nonsense. The family then learns that Mom's job is a thankless one and that they had better shape up and help out a little more often.
That would be nice. However, jewelry would suffice.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 3:48 AM
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