In praise of the Hetero Man Friend
I love men. Always have. I am especially sympathetic to the Hetero Man. I think they get a pretty bad rap sometimes. That is not to say that I don't like Gay Man or Bi Man, but I would like to give a little appreciation to the much maligned and misunderstood Hetero Man.
There is a common misconception that Hetero Man is incapable of a real friendship with a woman. Apparently sex gets in the way and confuses Hetero Man and he is apt to make some poor choices. Well, I have indeed witnessed this phenomenon but have not seen their mistakes outnumber those of the common Hetero Woman. I just think we tend to demonize Hetero Man and that makes me sad. Some of my closest friends are Hetero Men. I know, that is supposed to be against the odds since I am a flaming hot Hetero Woman. The fact that I am married and have a child is rumored not to bother Hetero Man and I have been raised to believe that Hetero Man will stop at nothing to bag any woman who crosses his path. My personal expererience has shown me that nothing could be further from the truth. They can resist me...hey, wait a minute... that doesn't sound so good...
As my last post suggests, I was out on the town on Monday night. I didn't make any particular plans and I sure as hell didn't give anyone any notice. I just sent out a mass email and left a few voicemail messages and let it go at that. I was prepared to have an evening of solitude, although I was hoping for a little company. Luckily, I was rescued by 3 lovely Hetero Man Friends and a delightful and understanding Girl Friend. Ben and Keri (I hope I gave the correct spelling of Carrie, Kerry, Cary, Kerri...), Mark and Steve were kind enough to partake in a few beers and some interesting chit chat for the better part of the evening. Steve had just returned from a whirlwind trip in the UK the day before and was so jet lagged the poor boy was hardly up to his gold standard of obscene humor. However, he was kind enough to pepper his tired discourse with polite compliments about my wardrobe and healthy appearance. Of course, Ben and Mark did their best to fill the gaps with their own brand of ribald wit and musings on the merits of flirting, favorite beers, the sad state of Broadway and group sex.
Honestly, though, I do appreciate the fact that when I was pressed for information about this "vacation" and its purpose not one of them ran away screaming or made any uncomfortable excuses for having to get up early the next morning. I told them that my therapist had suggested I do this or risk having a breakdown. Certainly, I sensed a little pity as there was a bit of an uncomfortable silence but they rebounded quite nicely and ordered another round. They didn't try to drag anything out of me or try to fix me. They were just being good friends and I had a smashing good time.
I don't know how I've gotten so lucky, but I have had a lifetime full of really good Hetero Man Friends. I've found them rather easy to be with, entertaining to talk to, and rather honest, warm and affectionate. Hardly the stuff we are taught to believe of their species. No, they don't call to chat for no reason and it can be easy to fall out of touch with them but they also don't get jealous or bent out of shape very easily. I've always been pleasantly surprised by my Hetero Man Friendships. After all, when 3 guys (and a girlfirend!) go out of their way to hang out with an over stressed, married mom that's a very wonderful gesture of friendship- because you know they ain't gettin' any. And, every once in a while, I'll get a quick glimpse at what one of my Hetero Man Friends really thinks of me. To them it seems obvious that they respect and care for me, but sometimes I must admit that I underestimate their capacity for true friendship because they are not as demonstrative as my women friends. But I wouldn't want them to be. I like them just the way they are.
So, here's to my Hetero Man Friends, past, present and future. Salut.
There is a common misconception that Hetero Man is incapable of a real friendship with a woman. Apparently sex gets in the way and confuses Hetero Man and he is apt to make some poor choices. Well, I have indeed witnessed this phenomenon but have not seen their mistakes outnumber those of the common Hetero Woman. I just think we tend to demonize Hetero Man and that makes me sad. Some of my closest friends are Hetero Men. I know, that is supposed to be against the odds since I am a flaming hot Hetero Woman. The fact that I am married and have a child is rumored not to bother Hetero Man and I have been raised to believe that Hetero Man will stop at nothing to bag any woman who crosses his path. My personal expererience has shown me that nothing could be further from the truth. They can resist me...hey, wait a minute... that doesn't sound so good...
As my last post suggests, I was out on the town on Monday night. I didn't make any particular plans and I sure as hell didn't give anyone any notice. I just sent out a mass email and left a few voicemail messages and let it go at that. I was prepared to have an evening of solitude, although I was hoping for a little company. Luckily, I was rescued by 3 lovely Hetero Man Friends and a delightful and understanding Girl Friend. Ben and Keri (I hope I gave the correct spelling of Carrie, Kerry, Cary, Kerri...), Mark and Steve were kind enough to partake in a few beers and some interesting chit chat for the better part of the evening. Steve had just returned from a whirlwind trip in the UK the day before and was so jet lagged the poor boy was hardly up to his gold standard of obscene humor. However, he was kind enough to pepper his tired discourse with polite compliments about my wardrobe and healthy appearance. Of course, Ben and Mark did their best to fill the gaps with their own brand of ribald wit and musings on the merits of flirting, favorite beers, the sad state of Broadway and group sex.
Honestly, though, I do appreciate the fact that when I was pressed for information about this "vacation" and its purpose not one of them ran away screaming or made any uncomfortable excuses for having to get up early the next morning. I told them that my therapist had suggested I do this or risk having a breakdown. Certainly, I sensed a little pity as there was a bit of an uncomfortable silence but they rebounded quite nicely and ordered another round. They didn't try to drag anything out of me or try to fix me. They were just being good friends and I had a smashing good time.
I don't know how I've gotten so lucky, but I have had a lifetime full of really good Hetero Man Friends. I've found them rather easy to be with, entertaining to talk to, and rather honest, warm and affectionate. Hardly the stuff we are taught to believe of their species. No, they don't call to chat for no reason and it can be easy to fall out of touch with them but they also don't get jealous or bent out of shape very easily. I've always been pleasantly surprised by my Hetero Man Friendships. After all, when 3 guys (and a girlfirend!) go out of their way to hang out with an over stressed, married mom that's a very wonderful gesture of friendship- because you know they ain't gettin' any. And, every once in a while, I'll get a quick glimpse at what one of my Hetero Man Friends really thinks of me. To them it seems obvious that they respect and care for me, but sometimes I must admit that I underestimate their capacity for true friendship because they are not as demonstrative as my women friends. But I wouldn't want them to be. I like them just the way they are.
So, here's to my Hetero Man Friends, past, present and future. Salut.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 3:27 AM
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