Why Do Women's Magazines Suck?
Frankly, most things that are targeted to women are irritating. I don't mind admitting that I can be sappy. Any boy and his dog story will make me cry. All you have to do to get me to weep uncontrollably is sneak up on me and whisper "That's my Yeller..." But even so, I also enjoy watching countless hours of assassination documentaries on any of the Discovery channels. Why is sappy ass crap the only territory women rightfully occupy? I happen to know a grown man who cries every single time George Bailey returns to his beloved Bedford Falls and hugs his wife and his children. Granted, Capra is high brow sappy, but you don't have to be in possession of ovaries to fall prey to it.
Now, that is not to say that women do not kick ass in any field. Are you kidding? Who doesn't love Christianne Ahmanpour? But she's not doing news for WE or Lifetime. What I am talking about it how stuff for women, by women is the most vapid and useless crap out there for mass consumption. Granted, most magazines are crappy formulas without any real in depth information in them anyway, but to look at the cover of any woman's magazine is to be seriously brainwashed about what our priorities are.
This month's issue of O has seven teaser headlines on it. Of those seven, three have to do with food/ weight, one is "You vs. Her: Who's smarter, prettier, richer? Stop the mind games you just can't win", while interestingly enough you'll find a teaser at the bottom of the page inviting you to peruse private photos from Oprah's "legendary weekend" (Gee, don't compare yourself to anyone, but if you are so inclined, have a look at Oprah's lifestyle!), and then a guide to manners- 2005. Apparently we need to update ourselves annually about whether or not we should chew with our mouths open? Is this what women are all about? And, sadly, O is the more sophisticated woman's mag. It's certainly not as trashy as Cosmo (someone once called Cosmo the magazine for office sluts) but the insecurity it panders to is just as evident. It just approaches the insecurity from a different angle. Like the popular girl on the playground it pretends to be your best friend, but has an ulterior motive- your money and your loyalty.
Yes, this is where my consumer cynicism comes out to play.
Dove has a new ad campaign about "real women". In Midtown Manhattan there is a big billboard with a handful of regular sized women (still well shaped with no large puckers or stretch marks, but not exactly hard bodies either) all wearing white panties and bras. They are having a good time, and apparently their skin is very clean. Of course, I had suggested this approach nearly 15 years ago (and it is not an original thought) but my initial reaction upon seeing this was- oh they're just doing that because some dumbass has finally figured out that there is money to be made that way. As much as I wish we could see more regular women featured in the world at large, this campaign was not met with any joy on my part. I just felt cheap. Really, all this women's centered advertising and entertainment makes me feel cheap. Right now, even the appearance of John Cusak in yet another sappy romance makes me feel cheap.
These aren't the women I know. The hoochies on any reality TV show are nothing like the women I know. Current pop divas certainly aren't like the women I know. Things that concern me aren't featured in women's magazines, The View (EVIL! Spit, cough, splutter) or Oprah. I don't give a fuck about celebrity marriages, divorces, daliances, dresses, or diseases. It doesn't seem to matter much to any of the women I know either. I always knew that I was a little different, but is everyone I know that out of step? What does it really mean to be a woman?
What does it really mean to be a man?
Why do I even have to ask?
Now, that is not to say that women do not kick ass in any field. Are you kidding? Who doesn't love Christianne Ahmanpour? But she's not doing news for WE or Lifetime. What I am talking about it how stuff for women, by women is the most vapid and useless crap out there for mass consumption. Granted, most magazines are crappy formulas without any real in depth information in them anyway, but to look at the cover of any woman's magazine is to be seriously brainwashed about what our priorities are.
This month's issue of O has seven teaser headlines on it. Of those seven, three have to do with food/ weight, one is "You vs. Her: Who's smarter, prettier, richer? Stop the mind games you just can't win", while interestingly enough you'll find a teaser at the bottom of the page inviting you to peruse private photos from Oprah's "legendary weekend" (Gee, don't compare yourself to anyone, but if you are so inclined, have a look at Oprah's lifestyle!), and then a guide to manners- 2005. Apparently we need to update ourselves annually about whether or not we should chew with our mouths open? Is this what women are all about? And, sadly, O is the more sophisticated woman's mag. It's certainly not as trashy as Cosmo (someone once called Cosmo the magazine for office sluts) but the insecurity it panders to is just as evident. It just approaches the insecurity from a different angle. Like the popular girl on the playground it pretends to be your best friend, but has an ulterior motive- your money and your loyalty.
Yes, this is where my consumer cynicism comes out to play.
Dove has a new ad campaign about "real women". In Midtown Manhattan there is a big billboard with a handful of regular sized women (still well shaped with no large puckers or stretch marks, but not exactly hard bodies either) all wearing white panties and bras. They are having a good time, and apparently their skin is very clean. Of course, I had suggested this approach nearly 15 years ago (and it is not an original thought) but my initial reaction upon seeing this was- oh they're just doing that because some dumbass has finally figured out that there is money to be made that way. As much as I wish we could see more regular women featured in the world at large, this campaign was not met with any joy on my part. I just felt cheap. Really, all this women's centered advertising and entertainment makes me feel cheap. Right now, even the appearance of John Cusak in yet another sappy romance makes me feel cheap.
These aren't the women I know. The hoochies on any reality TV show are nothing like the women I know. Current pop divas certainly aren't like the women I know. Things that concern me aren't featured in women's magazines, The View (EVIL! Spit, cough, splutter) or Oprah. I don't give a fuck about celebrity marriages, divorces, daliances, dresses, or diseases. It doesn't seem to matter much to any of the women I know either. I always knew that I was a little different, but is everyone I know that out of step? What does it really mean to be a woman?
What does it really mean to be a man?
Why do I even have to ask?
posted by Bree O'Connor at 9:48 PM
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