Itching
There is someone I know who is just a raging jackass.
I'm sure anyone who has ever met this person knows that this person is a stinky flaming asshole. Really, if you've spent more than 5 minutes in a conversation with this sick, sick person you'd know that this person is a mean, self absorbed mother fucker. It is painfully obvious. I'd love to be able to tell all the people who come in contact with this person that I know they know this person is an asshole. I also want them to know that I know this person is an asshole too. I'm not happy to be associated in any way with this person. However, for various reasons which I cannot go into lest those of you who don't yet know who this person is figure it out, I can't come out and say so publicly. But I am so mad that I really, really want to.
I have a short list of people who piss me off so much that if I was left alone in a room with them I would not be able to restrain myself from punching them in the neck. Yeah, totally not an easy place to punch but that would seriously hurt if you could pull it off. Currently this list has five names on it. This person tops the list. And you know the list is dangerous because it isn't a fantasy threat like if I had a list of people who I would like to impale on my front lawn. Because I live in Brooklyn and won't be getting a front lawn anytime soon. But I could, conceivably be in a room somewhere punching people in the neck. That's a totally attainable goal.
I'm not going to do it. I'm just a big enough wuss that I could be easily talked out of the deal. But sitting around thinking about how satisfying it would be to just pound 'em one gives me a little relief from my anger. Obviously, I can't make any disclosures about the names on my list, but if you even think you might be on my bad side, you might want to consider not being alone with me. Or at least wear a neck brace. I'm just saying.
Although, I don't think any of those 5 read this blog. So if you're reading this, chances are you're safe. But if you run into me and I'm with a person that totally turns you off and makes you feel like you need to shower the evil away I just want you to know that I know this person is a massive fuckhead and I am working on the termination of the relationship. It's just complicated, that's all.
If you meet this asshole, you'll know why.
And that's all I can say.
I'm sure anyone who has ever met this person knows that this person is a stinky flaming asshole. Really, if you've spent more than 5 minutes in a conversation with this sick, sick person you'd know that this person is a mean, self absorbed mother fucker. It is painfully obvious. I'd love to be able to tell all the people who come in contact with this person that I know they know this person is an asshole. I also want them to know that I know this person is an asshole too. I'm not happy to be associated in any way with this person. However, for various reasons which I cannot go into lest those of you who don't yet know who this person is figure it out, I can't come out and say so publicly. But I am so mad that I really, really want to.
I have a short list of people who piss me off so much that if I was left alone in a room with them I would not be able to restrain myself from punching them in the neck. Yeah, totally not an easy place to punch but that would seriously hurt if you could pull it off. Currently this list has five names on it. This person tops the list. And you know the list is dangerous because it isn't a fantasy threat like if I had a list of people who I would like to impale on my front lawn. Because I live in Brooklyn and won't be getting a front lawn anytime soon. But I could, conceivably be in a room somewhere punching people in the neck. That's a totally attainable goal.
I'm not going to do it. I'm just a big enough wuss that I could be easily talked out of the deal. But sitting around thinking about how satisfying it would be to just pound 'em one gives me a little relief from my anger. Obviously, I can't make any disclosures about the names on my list, but if you even think you might be on my bad side, you might want to consider not being alone with me. Or at least wear a neck brace. I'm just saying.
Although, I don't think any of those 5 read this blog. So if you're reading this, chances are you're safe. But if you run into me and I'm with a person that totally turns you off and makes you feel like you need to shower the evil away I just want you to know that I know this person is a massive fuckhead and I am working on the termination of the relationship. It's just complicated, that's all.
If you meet this asshole, you'll know why.
And that's all I can say.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 10:59 PM
2 Comments:
I used to tell everyone what a complete jack-ass waste of oxygen my former brother-in-law was. People would always think I was exagerating. Those who would later meet him insisted that I was far too kind.
Eventually my whole family told my sister that she was welcome any time but that he was not. That went on for a couple of years and we were all happier for it. Then he died in a horrible car accident.
Don't you love happy endings?
That's dark.
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