Casino Vacation
There is a reason why I have never even considered a casino resort as a vacation destination. It is kind of depressing.
Back in my crazy, fun, super poor days a trip to Mystic Lake Casino was both entertaining and cheap. Can anyone say breakfast buffet? It was fun to dress in sweats and plop in front of video poker or a slot machine at 3:00 in the morning. It had serious kitsch appeal. Now that I'm 30 it looks less like kitschy fun than it does an option. Eek, scary.
So how the hell did I end up at Foxwoods in the first place? Well, Tom's job has stepped in to irritate the hell out of me one more time- as if I haven't already wanted to throw the phone out the window and lock him in the house without any contact with the outside world. He was supposed to have today off- his last day off for the next three weeks as a matter of fact. However, one of his current jobs decided that he needed to scout for a commercial shoot at Foxwoods Casino Resort today. (This is one of the jobs that was responsible for my Norway trip being cancelled.) I was about to blow my stack for his job taking away my ONLY opportunity for a break over the next three weeks -not to mention poor Sullivan who suffers more without access to his Dad for three weeks- when Tom invited us to tag along. So here we are, watching bad cartoons in a hotel room in the wilds of Connecticut with only enough cash to eat snack foods.
First off, if you have young children and are thinking about coming to Foxwoods to lose your child's college fund- don't. This is not a kid friendly place. Unless your kid happens to be 800 years old and in an iron lung this is not the place for you. It is colder than the freaking Antarctic and even penguins find it inhospitable. The only place designated for children is an overpriced arcade to train your little one for future membership in Gambler's Anonymous. They actually include a brochure in their room information titled "Guidelines for Child Safety" that pretty much details all the things your kids CAN'T do. The nice pool is "adult swim only" after 6:30PM and last night I caught a lot of middle aged male huffiness brought on by a short skirt and my "lesbian hair cut". Television options are dismal unless you want to watch Keno or the pod people that host WINTV- the in house gambling info-tainment channel.
Now, if you smoke, like bands that cover Lynard Skynard and think that you will look a hundred and thirty pounds lighter if you only wear vertical stripes- then Foxwoods is for you.
Okay, so that wasn't very nice, but there is definitely something about this place that skeeves me. The fact that they have a promotion here linked to something called a "Wampum Card". There's a phony street that is reminicent of Disney World streets housing the "world class shopping". This basically means there are tons of sweatshirts with the Foxwoods logo, an assload of sneakers, and lots of non-perishable items from Harry and David. Of course, all of this is over priced as is their room service. Their room service menu boasts chips for $9.95. That had better be a friggin' Costco sized bag delivered by a hot cabana boy or, at the very least, a small "c" celebrity willing to humiliate themselves for quarters. Shouldn't the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation be more protective of their culture? I guess, like it or not, they're in America and when in America you can put all your pain onto a t-shirt (or in a Wampum Card) and make a tidy profit. That's what Americans do.
Oh well, there's a bed to jump on, a pool to swim in and recirculated air. I'm just glad I didn't have to pay for the priviledge.
Back in my crazy, fun, super poor days a trip to Mystic Lake Casino was both entertaining and cheap. Can anyone say breakfast buffet? It was fun to dress in sweats and plop in front of video poker or a slot machine at 3:00 in the morning. It had serious kitsch appeal. Now that I'm 30 it looks less like kitschy fun than it does an option. Eek, scary.
So how the hell did I end up at Foxwoods in the first place? Well, Tom's job has stepped in to irritate the hell out of me one more time- as if I haven't already wanted to throw the phone out the window and lock him in the house without any contact with the outside world. He was supposed to have today off- his last day off for the next three weeks as a matter of fact. However, one of his current jobs decided that he needed to scout for a commercial shoot at Foxwoods Casino Resort today. (This is one of the jobs that was responsible for my Norway trip being cancelled.) I was about to blow my stack for his job taking away my ONLY opportunity for a break over the next three weeks -not to mention poor Sullivan who suffers more without access to his Dad for three weeks- when Tom invited us to tag along. So here we are, watching bad cartoons in a hotel room in the wilds of Connecticut with only enough cash to eat snack foods.
First off, if you have young children and are thinking about coming to Foxwoods to lose your child's college fund- don't. This is not a kid friendly place. Unless your kid happens to be 800 years old and in an iron lung this is not the place for you. It is colder than the freaking Antarctic and even penguins find it inhospitable. The only place designated for children is an overpriced arcade to train your little one for future membership in Gambler's Anonymous. They actually include a brochure in their room information titled "Guidelines for Child Safety" that pretty much details all the things your kids CAN'T do. The nice pool is "adult swim only" after 6:30PM and last night I caught a lot of middle aged male huffiness brought on by a short skirt and my "lesbian hair cut". Television options are dismal unless you want to watch Keno or the pod people that host WINTV- the in house gambling info-tainment channel.
Now, if you smoke, like bands that cover Lynard Skynard and think that you will look a hundred and thirty pounds lighter if you only wear vertical stripes- then Foxwoods is for you.
Okay, so that wasn't very nice, but there is definitely something about this place that skeeves me. The fact that they have a promotion here linked to something called a "Wampum Card". There's a phony street that is reminicent of Disney World streets housing the "world class shopping". This basically means there are tons of sweatshirts with the Foxwoods logo, an assload of sneakers, and lots of non-perishable items from Harry and David. Of course, all of this is over priced as is their room service. Their room service menu boasts chips for $9.95. That had better be a friggin' Costco sized bag delivered by a hot cabana boy or, at the very least, a small "c" celebrity willing to humiliate themselves for quarters. Shouldn't the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation be more protective of their culture? I guess, like it or not, they're in America and when in America you can put all your pain onto a t-shirt (or in a Wampum Card) and make a tidy profit. That's what Americans do.
Oh well, there's a bed to jump on, a pool to swim in and recirculated air. I'm just glad I didn't have to pay for the priviledge.
posted by Bree O'Connor at 7:09 PM
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